I wont pretend I have seen loads of Miley Cyrus. I haven’t paid that much attention. But she’s like so many really. Until earlier this year, I was little aware of her, besides the fact that she was another Hilary Duff. She “sings,” she “acts,” but truly, she’s been an oasis of goodness for parents to point to, have their little girls behold the “right” way to act. But, dear oh dear, that looks a little different now. Lately it’s been hard to ignore what’s been going down.

I can’t say this is surprising, these pictures. She is a 15 year old money pot, a product. She is under such tight control, the kind most kids couldn’t dream, to be a certain way living up to standards that aren’t possible. Should it be surprising, like in the case of the bra and midriff photo, that she wouldn’t start doing things that probably any kid in her shoes would do? It just seems a matter of time before all that sickening sweet goodness has to give way to rebellion of other people’s wants, albeit self destructive. Interesting too, how it’s been said that she is at a fever pitch in her fame, and could become the wealthiest child star in the country. Do I sense self sabotage? Granted, how her parents could have ever okayed something that obviously contradicted her image by letting her pose like that in VF, makes you wonder their judgment. I don’t think anyone believes she was manipulated, when you see the control over her affairs and image all this time. Something else is going on. But it might be the best thing to happen if things were to fall apart. That kind of life is hard on an adult, let alone a teenager, even harder if you are a clone from the Disney Channel.

 

But WHY? Why was she ever a role model? Why are we so obsessed with finding a person without blemish or wrongs, to model our own life, like some sort of factory mold? I know, parents will scream me down, telling me they are powerless to the media images and that they need someone out their to be a good example against all the harlots and trouble makers. Parents always have, and when “bad behavior” crops up, the media is a favorite scapegoat. I’m not saying that Hollywood doesn’t add to the mix, but young girls don’t learn value like they do at home. Parents see that as blame, that they didn’t do a good job in that case. But when you look at most people’s warped sense of themselves, whatever age, you only pass down what you know anyway, no matter your intentions. My favorite example is back in the 1960s, when Westerns were the big thing on television. People shot people, there was gambling, there were fights, pretty tame today but then….my parents watched them, played gun fights, “Cowboys and Indians,“ and such, but they hardly grew up thinking shooting people (even if you are a “Good Guy”) was the way to handle things. What they saw at home overrode that.

As for myself, I spent a lot of time with girls who liked to act semi-provocative, hang out with boys too old for them, but their parents lived in another world. You didn’t confide in parents about what you did, and if so they’d either hit the roof and yell you down, or act indifferent and go back to their beer. I was seen as a “goody two shoes” because I was too shy to do that kind of stuff, and grew in a world where I wasn’t forced by my parents to grow up, but just my presence brought up the girl’s own judgment of what they would do. Besides each other they really didn’t have anyone to help them, talk to them. TV images didn’t give them the answer they were looking for. All they wanted was attention, but they hurt themselves to do it.

 

So these things could be very helpful. Make people stop and evaluate what they look to as models for perfection. After all, is it really fair to put the life of our girls in the hands of a 15 year old, who has her own life to sort out? Like all of us?